Sivarama Menon Road

Kamla Bhasin and a rape joke on FB: An update

2012-01-25T16:17:00.002+05:30

After posting here about my discomfort, I wrote to my classmate and told him what my objections were. I do not want to reveal the details of our discussion, as I have not sought his permission to write about it in a public forum like blogger. But he appears to agree with me on the points I raised about rape as a violation, though he disagreed with my statement that people put up stuff that they agree with on FB.

But I am glad, very glad that I raised it with him:-)

Kamla Bhasin and a rape joke on FB

2011-12-21T11:19:00.008+05:30

Feminists and human rights activists in India know Kamla Bhasin from her work with rural women, the Delhi based NGO Jagori, peace and harmony in South Asia, her work with FAO and also her feministic songs. I heard her at a meeting of Adivasi women who had been displaced by "development" projects and was electrified by how she would rouse a crowd. Here is Kamala di at Indra Prastha college, New Delhi.

I recently came across a quote by her in Shauna Singh Baldwin's Book Review of "Making a Difference"

“It (feminism) has challenged me at every step and in every aspect of my life, because it is the only-ism that enters into our families, our bedrooms and our most intimate relationships; and the questions of equations, practices and traditions. It has turned the PERSONAL into the POLITICAL.”

Why I am writing this now? I recently reconnected with a classmate from college on FB. He posted this on his profile:

"Sahakarichaal....... nenakkum sokham .....enikkum sokham..............ALLENKIL......enikku maaathram sokham................))))) T G RAVI while raping SREEVIDYA in Film UDAMBADI" .

For my non-Malayali readers, let me translate this: this is a dialogue from the Malayalam movie "udambadi" where one character (presumably the villain), played by actor TG Ravi is saying to the character played by actress Sreevidya while raping her: "If you cooperate both of us can get pleasure, if you don't only I get pleasure". Rape is not a joke and to joke about it, is not a joke either. I have not seen the movie (in any case my friend has only approvingly (and with the smiley symbok attached) quoted this statement on his wall without giving the context) , but going just by this statement, it celebrates rape as an assertion of patriarchal power over a victim, who is expected to comply with the perpetrator's sexual demand. It also makes clear that sexual pleasure of the woman is irrelevant, she is there just to be enjoyed, like a commodity. What more do you need to show the utter violation that rape is?

My good friend human rights activist and film maker Aishah Shahidah Simmons (incidentally, Aishah has directed a path breaking documentary NO! on the rape of African American women) once said in a panel discussion that we should call out people and challenge them when they come up with racist, sexist remarks and not let it pass. Because, who knows, maybe when people are challenged that they may think about their unexamined prejudices. So, we can change the world, one person at at time. At least that is the belief:-))

I am torn - I do not want to have a discussion with this guy who I don't that well (we did not hang out together) but I also feel so angry that he can joke about rape in a public forum and other men have made statements affirming it. This guy has a little daughter who he clearly adores, but the argument I do not want to make is "what if your sister/wife/mother/daughter was raped?", because the feministic argument should not be about women whose roles are a man's sister/wife/mother/daughter, but about women's equal worth and dignity as human beings. The sister/wife/mother/daughter argument is directed at the protective instincts of the man, to protect "his" women. From the Supreme Court (anyone read some of Justice Krishna Iyer's verdicts on women's rights?) down, we feminists have our hands full dealing with protectionism. Treat us as human beings - nothing more, nothing less.

I do not know this guy well, so I am not sure how to react. This is what feminism does to you, as Kamla di says, it has "challenged me at every step and in every aspect of my life". Should I write to him privately? I do not know.

Malayali women in the public sphere: More power to Ranjini Haridas

2011-12-15T18:14:00.004+05:30

Many Malayalis love to hate Ranjini Haridas, the anchor of the popular reality show Idea Star Singer which airs on Asianet . Ranjini is a smart, articulate woman with a good sense of humour. She actively participates in the music reality show she anchors, interceding with comments.

I want to say that a lot of the opposition to Ranjini's dress and her accent is not because of her dress and accent, but because she behaves in a way a nice Malayalee girl is NOT supposed to behave. A good Malayalee girl is supposed to be quiet and demure in public. Adakkavum othukkavum is drilled into little girls from the time they can talk. Kerala's physical public spaces are so very M*A*L*E. Even in Kochi, the supposedly most cosmopolitan city of Kerala, you will find very few women without a male escort outside at night in our streets or in public transport. Maybe, the IT/BPO culture will change that, but women have to pay a price until that happens, as Thasni Banu can testify. I think it was in a report published in the Kochi city edition of the New Indian Express that several female sales personnel were quoted talking of sexual harassment they frequently encounter in streets and in public transport when they rush back home at night.

The tragic rape and death of Sowmya highlighted how a nice Malayalee girl is created. It was repeatedly highlighted that she was going home for her "pennukaanal". She was constructed as a perfect victim, the good daughter who was working to support her family, who was looking forward to being married and leading a "settled" life. Only an adangia othungia Malayalee girl would get this treatment. Makes me wonder if a prostitute or a divorced woman would get a similar reception in our papers. Many thanks to J Devika's Kafila article for spurring my thoughts.

So, that brings me back to Ranjini Haridas. Some bloggers have accused her of being patronising towards contestants from subaltern backgrounds and of buying into the classical music is pure music and everything else is impure dogma (do note the words "pure" and "impure" also resonates of caste). Ranjini has caste and class working in her favour, no doubt. It is doubtful if someone (man/woman) from a subaltern background would have been able to "get away" with challenging supposed social niceties so long. Prof. Crenshaw will not be happy at this teasing out caste, class and gender separately but for simplifying the analysis let me indulge in that for a bit, focusing only on Ranjini as a Malayalee W*O*M*A*N

As a woman, she has faced more scrutiny than say, Sreekantan Nair or other male anchors precisely because she refused to fit into the pre-cast mould of dovish female anchors on Malayalam TV. In dual (male-female) anchor shows, there has been more than one instance of the male anchor hogging all the attention while the female anchor is made to stand there as a dumb barbie doll.

The Malayalam actor Jagathi Sreekumar made some comments about her anchoring style and questioned why she was "judging" the participants when there are judges on the show in the grand final of Munch Star Singer (also aired on Asianet) which was held before a live audience in a stadium. I think this was a sexist attack that was against Ranjini's in-your-face, not-adangi and not-othungi style of anchoring. Jagathi is a fine actor, but he had no business commenting on her anchoring style in public. If he was so bothered about it, he could have talked privately about it, but why make it public? Because Jagathi like most (all?) Malayali men are alpha-male. Would he have said that to Sreekantan Nair or Jagadeesh in a public forum? I doubt it. A woman, especially some one like Ranjini who is outspoken is fair game.

Ranjini handled it well and while researching for this post, I came across a piece by her explaining why she did not give it back to Jagathy in the same coin. She has a better sense of propriety than our thespian. So more power to Ranjini.

New York is my city

2011-12-14T21:20:00.005+05:30

I was in New York recently. The trip helped me to reconnect with myself, with who I am.

My best moment in New York was when I walked into the cafeteria of Barnes and Nobles in Union Square on a Saturday evening and found it full. Everyone there had books or e-readers and many were reading. This is a city that reads. This is my city, in the vaguest sense possible of course!

Men, women and relationships in India today

2011-06-12T18:27:00.004+05:30

Yesterday I was on the phone with a friend who sought my advice regarding her marital dispute. The conversation led me to do some hard thinking on women, men and relationships in contemporary India.

A highly educated couple, the woman comes from a liberal background. A clear pointer to this is that she studied in Delhi for her MA and M.Phil, managing her life all by herself during those four years. The husband comes from a less liberal (I am not sure his parents would have agreed to their daughter studying in distant Delhi) background, has a ph.d and a good position in a prominent public sector company. Both share religion, caste and class.

Post marriage, after the literal and figurative honeymoon period was over, the husband made it clear that he expected his wife to take up a more "womanly" career, one which ensures she is back at home by 5pm in the evening. She refused and slowly hell broke lose. She suggested several times that they approach a counselor, but so far he has refused stating that counseling is only for the mentally ill and for good measure added that she can approach one to cure herself of her mental sickness of wanting a career.

Her parents wanted her to settle down after she found a job in Delhi after the M.Phil. Out of extreme lonliness (she is not the most extrovert of persons and had few friends at the time in Delhi), her mother's tears and endless haranguing she agreed to this proposal. She insists that outsiders like me not see the situation in black and white terms. Her parents are genuinely worried that she being an only child will be lonely and unhappy in old age and by getting her married, wanted to settle things for her. She loves her parents dearly and does not want to let them down, especially when they have invested so much in her happiness (she wanted to study in Delhi and without batting an eyelid, they agreed). Hence she agreed to this guy. They met a few times in Delhi for dinner (as someone I know once said, sometimes we fail to really know a person even after a lifetime, so how can you assess someone after a few dinners?) and he seemed ok enough. So she took the plunge.

My first reaction was why she did not discuss issues like career with him before they got married. But it looks like promises were made by him about her continuing with her position which he has retracted later on. To be fair to the guy, he may not have fully comprehended what he was getting into. Sometimes statements can mean different things to different people.

All in all, this is a very unfortunate situation, for both man and woman.

I am a feminist and I am not ashamed of saying it. There was a time I used to strongly believe that the world is created by men, of men and for men! But the older and wiser me think that in this new India, it is not easy for young men also. Women expect so much more from a marriage than their mothers did. But age old expectations of a man's role as the bread winner has not changed.

Also relevant is my friend's assertion that her parents have given her plenty of opportunities to explore her potential. A great education, for starters. Only to secure her happiness(and not to shirk their responsibility of her, this I must add is a very loaded concept, why is a woman a responsibility?), she asserts, were they insistent that she get married. SHe was clearly not seen as a burden to be traded of to a husband for dowry (the classical arranged marriage situation).

My friend agreed to the marriage primarily because she did not want to let her parents down as she loves them deeply. Now she is so conflicted about the choices she made. Thankfully, her parents have now rallied to her support.

A graphic example of history repeating itself?

2011-04-29T17:36:00.002+05:30

I don't have much time, so will just write this in the style of a math equation

Privy Council decision in Abdul Fata Mahommed Ishak + revocation of the partition of Bengal = The Mussulman Wakf Validating Act, 1913

and this history repeats itself 73 years later

Supreme Court decision in Shahbano +opening of the locks of the Babri Mosque =Muslim Women (Protection of Rights on Divorce) Act, 1986

For those interested, I would recommend reading Gregory C Kozlowski's Muslim Endowments and Society in British India (Cambridge University Press, 1985) and Zoya Hasan (ed) Forging Identities: Gender, Communities and the State (Kali for Women, 1994).

PC and Maggie: the pitfalls of certainty

2011-04-26T21:56:00.003+05:30

I have been reading Karen Armstrong's memoir Spiral Staircase. What got me thinking is what she writes about the early eighties, which were the days of Margaret Thatcher in Britain. Armstrong notes that Maggie Thatcher was very set and certain about her world view being right. P Chidambaram, our Home Minister also strikes me as very certain in his views. I am uncomfortable with his vision of India with "85% living in cities". I am curious whether he has factored in the cost to the environment of majority people living in cities. What would happen to our forest cover if cities were to expand exponentially, I wonder. Especially for low-skilled labour who live in abject conditions in our cities, is it not better to create opportunities for them to stay in their villages and towns (NREGA seems to be a good move in this direction)?

It is perfectly ok to be unsure and to know that you may not have it right all the time. If everyone was certain about what they thought and sought to execute their certainties ( like the Al Qaida, for instance), the world would be a difficult place to live in.

And then, is anything certain in life other than death?

(this is an edited version of an earlier post on this topic)

Who is a good communicator: a post script to the previous post

2011-04-25T10:06:00.002+05:30

In my previous post, I wrote that the Malayalam actor Prithviraaj is a good communicator. I also said that he should shut up at times and let his work speak for him. I have since then revised my opinion. Prithviraaj is articulate and he speaks knowledgeably about a lot of things. But he is not a good communicator.

A good communicator is not simply someone who is articulate and knowledgeable. A good communicator should also know when not to speak, when in fact silence is golden.

That said, he is a lot better than a lot of others in Malayalam art/cinema world.

Urumi & Prithviraj

2011-04-06T16:32:00.005+05:30

I am loving the Urumi songs. They have to grow on you. Good job Deepak Dev!

But what the hell is Prithviraaj wearing in the movie? His clothes *seem* out of place from the little I have seen of the movie from the promos.

The thing about movies is that the risk factor is so high. Actors and technicians work so hard to bring the movie to us. But there is absolutely no guarantee of success. Worse, the failure is so public and out there. So the passion has to be that high (vaanolam, if I were to use a Malayalam word) if you have to continue to make movies or you have to be extremely delusional(;-)).

I do not think Prithviraj is delusional. The guy is talented, good looking, is an excellent communicator and has all the potential to be Malayalam cinema's Aamir Khan (if only he would shut up a little bit at times, sometime you have to let your work speak for you).

who hugs/kisses whom - the non-romantic kind:-)

2011-02-28T15:35:00.010+05:30

I should start by saying that this post is about people of the same sex hugging/kissing each other to show intimacy, affection, warmth and good cheer in a non-romantic manner.

I am not fond of hugging people I am not close to. As a kid, my parents would insist that I kiss the old and the elderly in my extended family. I hated going up to the old person in question( typically someone I did not know), smelling the combination of odours of their sweat, hair and medication and then kissing the tired skin of their cheeks. As I grew up, my parents stopped insisting upon this and boy, was I so glad. Recently, I was telling my mother this and she has no recollection, none at all, of any such insistence on her or my father's part (eey, enikku ormaye illa = I don't recollect at all)

In Kerala, I am yet to see people hugging their friends in the casual way it is done up north or in the West. When offered a hug by not-so-close friends, I have always accepted it as it would be rude to reject a person offering up their body to you to touch. But I have never felt comfortable.

It really came to me one day in Delhi. A friend and I were at her sister's house for tea. I was introduced to the sister's mother-in-law. When we were leaving the lady in question hugged my friend and then me after saying, "take care, beta, all the best". I am sure she meant well. I had just moved to Delhi and I was looking for a place to stay. I was staying for a short while with this friend until I found my own apartment and this had come up in the conversation. But the hug left me feeling invaded.

In Delhi I noticed colleagues (even the ones who hated each other!) hugging each other. I think there is a North-South divide or to be more specific, a Punjabi-Malayali divide in this.

How much of this opening up our bodies business is related to caste and how much of this is related to space/privacy? On the latter, I should say that we Keralites are not a particularly space/privacy conscious people. I think some of the answers may lie in caste. In her excellent book "Unknown Turf", while writing about caste in Punjab, Annie Zaidi points out that caste in Punjab has never been about purity-pollution. Remember that in Kerala we all practised untouchability until quite recently. The ritual purity business is not widely practised now, but it manifests itself in our refusal to open up our bodies to others, including to being hugged. This is only a tenative conclusion, btw.

Feeding the reading habit

2011-02-22T15:40:00.003+05:30

I do a lot of stuff online. But if I can help it, I prefer to read the hard copy. So, I guess it will be quite a long while before I buy the Kindle or the Desi Wink! That fine magazine Caravan has its whole issue online and so does a host of other magazines I read, such as Open, Tehelka and Outlook. The last two are available in Kochi (two-three days after publication). But not Caravan and Open. I have stopped hoping to ever get Seminar or Biblio:-)

I do not like to subscribe magazines. I would rather buy them at the book stalls. Open used to be available at MG Road, but not anymore. Delhi Press (Caravan's publisher) had a stall at a book fair held recently and they were trying to sell the subcription scheme and I tried telling them to sell it at the bookshops.

That brings me to the topic of absence of good bookshops in Kochi. Paico is now in serious decline (I think this began after the death of the elder Pai, the founder), DC's non-fiction collection is really not up to the mark. When the Reliance Timeout opened at a local mall, many people I know were oohing aahing about its collection. But what a disappointment! It is more of an entertainment zone, with a toy shop, accessories shop and multi-media shop.

Amitava Kumar's interview with Arundhati Roy

2011-02-18T17:23:00.004+05:30

I am mostly with Roy on the causes she espouses. I worry that while she can stop talking about these issues when she chooses, that is not the case for the people whose very life these issues are. These are the people who are tortured, killed in encounters and have false cases planted against them. Don't get me wrong, if Roy did not speak up for them (yes, "for them" and not "with them" since we do not hear their voices ever), there would be no spotlight on them. And, I prefer A Roy to P Chidambaran who seems to know everything.

Anyways....

I was reading Amitava Kumar's interview with her. Roy had said something very insightful about discovering your creative abilities and nourishing it until it becomes yours. Here it is:

"Behind the speed and confidence of a beautiful line in a line drawing there’s years of—usually—discipline, obsession, practice that builds on a foundation of natural talent or inclination of course. It’s like sport. A sentence can be like that. Language is like that. It takes a while to become yours, to listen to you, to obey you, and for you to obey it. I have a clear memory of language swimming towards me. Of my willing it out of the water. Of it being blurred, inaccessible, inchoate… and then of it emerging. Sharply outlined, custom-made."

I think even with professional skills (let me restrict myself to what I am familiar with) such as legal drafting, arguing in court, counseling clients, at first it seems insurmountable and formidable. But slowly, "it swims towards you".

~~~

thought provoking tagline

2011-02-16T17:31:00.004+05:30

I was at a music shop today and came across the vcd of the Malayalam movie "sakudumbam shyamala. I loved the tagline for the movie which was on the cover of the vcd, " ee lokathu njanum, ente bharthavum, ente monum pinne oru swarnakkadayum mathram mathi" (there need be just me, my husband, my son and a gold jewellery shop in this world). It really captures a lot about middle/upper class Malayali thinking these days.

more songs

2011-02-04T22:32:00.004+05:30

sundaran neeyum sundari njanum love Kamala Hasan's voice - powerful. I wonder who the female play back is?

I had posted earlier about Vasthavam movie which Prithviraaj in the lead. I love the song Nadha Nee varumbol and can listen to it non-stop:-) The picturisation is sensuous.

Totally unconnected to the song, but I noticed the old Kerala style jewelery worn by the actress around the middle of video (with the waterfall background). That big vattam earpiece, my late aunt (father's sister) had one exactly like that. That earpiece and the Shantiniketan bag which was in fashion eons ago among Malayali women of a certain class is one thing I always remember about my late aunt.

My father had only one sister and this aunt loved me and my siblings unconditionally, no strings attached. I don't think people love other people's kids like that anymore. I wish I could be proved wrong. Also, I have never seen a brother and sister who liked each other so much. He was the only one she would listen to (yeah... she did not even listen to her husband sometimes, if you are wondering:-))

I am sure my aunt would not have approved of the picturisation of the song. She was a devout woman who had few doubts about her moral universe!

Ente Malayalam

2011-02-04T21:36:00.002+05:30

I love this video....yes lot of noteworthy people are missing (where is KJ Yesudas/Chithra for instance?).. but nevertheless always makes me proud!

music is on my mind

2011-02-04T17:22:00.002+05:30

This post is for documenting these lovely Mal. songs so I do not go on a wild goose search for them when I nnnneeddd to listen to them:-)))

oru chempaneer poo (wish sound quality was better)

vathil pazhuthilooden

oru pushpam

what is bliss

2011-01-07T00:24:00.001+05:30

coffee... books to read... a comfortable chair...is bliss

2010-09-30T20:56:00.008+05:30

test

what is faith?

2010-08-20T20:41:00.002+05:30

"Faith is what you need when your belief is tested. Faith is trust. Faith is what you turn to in the middle of the night when doubt creeps in. Faith is what you hold onto." the amazingly articulate "Tea" author of Tea and cookies blog.

discomfiture on identity politics, intersectionality, caste and my friend Nick

2010-08-15T22:13:00.006+05:30

After writing the previous post on Joby John and caste, I felt quite uncomfortable. What bothered me was my reference to "their" candidate. The "they" being the Dalit/OBC blogosphere. My reference to "their" meant that I had willy-nilly accepted the framework of identity politics, in such politics individuals think solely in terms of their community identities.

I also participated in an interaction over at fishpond which lasted a couple of days. When a commentator sarcastically referred to me as the "enlightened one" (!!), all because I did not toe the 'party line' that the 5 lakhs votes represented caste mobilisation, I decided to call it quits.

After reflecting for a few days, I was reminded of Kimberle Crenshaw's pathbreaking work on intersectionality, how different factors like race, class and gender intersect to create inter-locking forms of discrimination but law and the legal process is used to thinking in linear terms about discrimination (a good example is the question - when a African-American woman is discriminated against, is she discriminated because of gender or because of race, ignoring that it could be because of both).

In Joby John's case, was it a case of intersectionality - his caste and class operating together, among other factors like his geniality? But since class is more palatable to the general public, it blinds observers like me, causing us to think in linear terms? I should emphasis however that nothing in the original post at fishpond or the comments was about intersectionality. Unfortunately, it degenerated into "how can you (an outsider) claim to speak about marginalised 'lower" castes? ( is this not a form of identity politics?)

I am conflicted about this.

Edited to add the section in brackets

[The middle class 'upper' caste Malayali is famously very uncomfortable about caste. The non-Hindu Malayalis are indifferent to caste as long as it does not affect them and when it gets into their territory, they are as prejudiced as the 'upper' caste Hindus are. There is no white guilt here, if anything, 'upper' caste and middle class non-Hindus try to heap guilt on the subaltern castes for supposedly sullying the utopia of merit that Kerala would have been but for affirmative action aka reservation. In such a context, the packaging of a poor 'lower' caste person as someone emptied of his caste identity and depicted only as poor becomes important in a reality show like Idea Star Singer. The middle class Malayali heart would sympathise with a poor singer but not with a subaltern singer who is proud of subaltern identity and does not mind wearing it on his/her sleeve. This was what I was trying to say over at Fishpond.]

I also really wish my friend Nick (not his real name) about whom I blogged before was here. He was very astute about stuff like this. Nick once told me something very interesting. It went along these lines, "You can say that larger society has accepted us (as in African-Americans) when it is no longer looking for exceptional African Americans, when it is ok for us some of us to fail and it is not taken as emblematic of anything."

[Lastly, it is also worth noting the consumerism involved. SMS is "smart MONEY service" for the channel]

Idea Star Singer and Joby John's "caste"

2010-08-04T19:29:00.009+05:30

Over at fishpond, Ajithkumar hails Joby John's victory in Kerala's most popular music reality show IDEA STAR SINGER as a victory for caste mobilization. Now Joby John is a Christian and seems like a devout one at that. ~~From his background, it appears that he/his ancestors may have converted to Christianity. [~~Since all Christians in Kerala are converts or have ancestors who are converts, this point is irrelevant. I noticed that this post has received a few visitors, so to make clear what I have edited, I have chosen to 'strike through' rather than erase the statement.]

The BJP has always claimed that the Adibasis, Dalits and the OBCs are Hindu. In fact, in Gujarat in 2002, a section of Adibasis were involved in the massacre of Muslims. So I find it very interesting that OBC/Dalit activists are appropriating the victory of Joby John as a victory of one of "theirs". A smart inversion, I would say. We need this kind of politics in Kerala to deal with the imminent decline of communism and the BJP occupying the space left by the communists.

But if we take this argument further, we come across certain disjunctions. Take the case of Najeem Ershad, the winner of the 2007 edition. Najeem belongs to a lower middle class Muslim family. Like Joby he is also trained in Carnatic music. But in the run-up to the 2007 finals and in its aftermath, the Dalit/OBC blogosphere rallied around Sannidanandan (and deservedly so, just take the instance of 'upper' caste MLA Ganeshkumar's utterly condescending comments on Sannidanandan becoming arrogant, a comment that speaks more about Ganeshkumar's caste affiliation - that 'lower' castes have become arrogant is an extremely common so-called criticism against them). The blogosphere did not seem to have noticed that Najeem's victory was phenomenal in many ways. This was prolly because their attention was focused on the presence of Sannidanandan who was a 'lower' caste candidate. I think that Joby John got the support of the Dalit/OBC blogosphere this time because in the finals or the semi-finals they did not have "their" candidate.

Also, I am not sure I agree that Joby John's victory is one of caste mobilisation via the sms route. Joby's story - how his mother worked as a domestic help to support his training in music struck a chord in many people. That sense of sympathy, rather than caste mobilisation is what prolly won the first prize for him.

(I have been getting a few visitors to this post, so I want you to know that after writing this post, I thought a great deal about my use of "their" candidate and intersectionality, so I have added my reflections in a subsequent post, which you can see here)

standardisation aka cosmopolitan according to some

2010-07-29T19:41:00.003+05:30

Around five years back Kwame Antony Appiah wrote an op-ed article in the NYT extolling the virtues of cosmopolitanism. I was so uncomfortable with that article. He seemed to think that there was a free, unencumbered mutual exchange of cultures, ideas etc. But surely it is not so? The rest adapts to the West and the West calls that cosmopolitan.

It just came back to me when I saw the pic of this Japanese woman interviewed over at Dilliwala. She was dressed in a T shirt and jeans. Pretty standard stuff. That got me thinking of 'traditional' clothing and how it is being replaced fast everywhere. Of course, these things are complicated and there is a gender dimension to it. I have noticed that women especially in a place like India take to Western clothing less easily than men ( a nod to Partha Chatterjee's famous "nationalist resolution of the women's question article) Then we should also problematise the term "Western" clothing. Where in Europe did what is now standard now emerge? How did it spread? Why did it spread?

Cultures change all the time. The Sari tying style that we are all famliar with is actually not that old and emerged in the nineteenth century. But it became popular and spread across India replacing other styles like the Tambrahm Madisar for instance. I am not arguing for "museumising" cultures by fiat, either by the state or some other agent. But I do feel very sad to see the homogenization that Appaih wrongly claims is cosmopolitanism.

neela thamara

2010-07-25T21:53:00.003+05:30

This is a bit late in the day... but I loved this movie. I really heart MT Vasudevan Nair, on whose story the movie is based. MT's stories always leave you with this unsatisfied feeling, but then you realise that life is like that - never quite perfect, no?

I thought Archana Kavi and Reema Kallingal did a wonderful job. But the star of the movie is the story. The older Kunji malu comes back to Haridas' house to take care of his mother and seems to genuinely care for the old lady. But she seems to hold something against him, refusing Haridas's widow's offer to hand over Haridas' last letter which was addressed to her. I sensed a lot of hurt in that. Still nursing the wounds of that heart break? The story unfolds in the background of a myth about a neelathamara aka blue lotus which blooms where the prayers addressed to the deity of a local temple are answered.

Kerala hummed and sang along with Anuraga Vilochananayi for a good six months after the movie was released. Lovely song and surprise of surprises is that the female playback singer cannot even speak Malayalam. Also lovely is the title song Neelathamare

Lal Jose, the director of the movie has a blog with several thoughtful entries. Here is hoping he posts more regularly.

sharing a great link

2010-05-30T21:43:00.008+05:30

i can read

Nadha nee varumbol......

2010-05-28T11:44:00.005+05:30

One lazy Saturday afternoon I was just channel surfing when I came across the Malayalam movie Vasthavam. It is the story of a person caught in the whirlwind of bureaucracy and politics. An interesting movie that raises so many questions. The protagonist (played well by that hottie Prithviraj) is a naive young man from North Kerala who comes to Trivandrum to work as a clerk at the state secretariat . At the prodding of a mentor (played excellently by that wonderful actor, Jagathy Sreekumar) he learns to take bribes and climb the hierarchy, eventually becoming Personal Assistant (PA) to a Minister. He becomes quite the wheeler-dealer. There is one scene where blames his new corrupt self on the influence of his mentor. This raises questions about human agency. How much of our actions are really ours?

The protagonist's relationship with the three women in his life also raises questions. Love, lust and sympathy are the three emotions at play here. The protagonist was in love with his childhood sweetheart, but was forced due to indigence to marry another woman. He does not take his wife with him to Trivandrum. While at the Secretariat, he has an intimate relationship with the niece of the PWD Minister so that he can become his PA. He dumps her after becoming PA. Meanwhile, his wife stays in his village in North Kerala taking care of his old father and in one scene, he is moved by sympathy and offers to take her to Trivandrum. Ok... I will stop revealing the whole plot here.

The movie did not do well at the box office. I remember Prithviraj saying he had really expected this movie to be a hit.

I think the best thing about the movie is the romantic song "nadha nee varumbol, ee yamam thalirilamayi....."

test

2010-05-24T20:04:00.005+05:30

test

Mangalore Plane Crash: Avoidable tragedy??

2010-05-23T09:40:00.008+05:30

On Saturday (May 22, 2010) morning came the news of the crash at Mangalore aiport, when a flight from Dubai overshot the runway while landing. 160+ innocent lives were lost. A TOI report states that, "The runway at Mangalore airport is situated on a hillock, which in aviation parlance is known as a table top runway. Basically, the runway strip is built on flat land, but the area situated at either end of the runway, and its sides slope downwards. In such cases pilots have to be extra careful during landing and take-off, as any error in judgment can lead to a major disaster."

It appears that this tragedy was avoidable according to a letter by two environmental activists who had opposed the expansion of the airport(Many thanks to blogger and writer Dilip D'Souza who has put up the letter on his blog). They claim that the expansion of the 2nd runway was done in violation of applicable norms. According to these activists,

"For instance, if an aircraft has initiated take off, and a technical flaw requires emergency stop, the standard prescribes the minimum area that should be kept free to enable such a stop. In the instant case, the runway distance itself is about 2400 metres, and even if the area left is most cautiously utilised, what is left is only about 300 metres on each end of the runway. By the prescribed standard, this is far below the required distance needed for an emergency stop way. Therefore, the chances of an aircraft that has achieved the decision speed forcing an emergency stop are critically minimised, and the inevitable consequence could be that the plane would come crashing down the hillsides from a height of 80-100 metres on either side of the proposed runway."

The last sentence in the second quotation above seems like a chilling prediction.

[This blog entry has been edited after having been initially put up on Sunday 23, May 2010]

Big achievement when I was away from the blog world

2010-05-21T23:46:00.003+05:30

I learnt to drive. Who should I be thanking? the auto-wallahs in Delhi, who made me give up all the excuses for not driving ('I have road fear', 'I don't like to deal with heavy traffic', 'I keep getting confused between left and right').

The driving lessons by themselves were useful only in getting a license. The first day I drove in my (second hand) car I hit the rear end of a city bus. There was a big dent and I thought I will never drive again. But a big thanks to my father, who insisted that I continue driving.

I still have a long way to go, but at least I can drive. I love playing music while driving and even hum along when the traffic is bumper-to-bumper.

small pleasures

2009-06-01T19:43:00.003+05:30

I just came across the Biblio website. Biblio is a bi-monthly book review published from Delhi. When I worked at an NGO in 2000-01, I used to look forward to the trip to Khan Market to buy Biblio and go to a coffee shop to read it while sipping coffee. I was paid pittance and these were the small pleasures I could afford.

Recently, I also came across Mayank Austen Soofi's blog on Delhi. This is just what I wanted, since i feel so very nostalgic of Delhi (yeah, yeah... Delhi is unsafe for women.. correction.. human beings) at times.

sigh of relief

2009-05-25T15:49:00.002+05:30

Whew... the Cong(i)-led United Progressive Alliance hass come back to power. Mashallah, the BJP has been kept out....

Not that I think the UPA is the best of the lot. I dislike dynasty politics and the last government was also corrupt. But if I were to choose between corruption and communal violence, I would definitely choose the former.

my favourite image from the election was a Muslim girl barely out of her teens in Pilibhit consistuency (here the BJP candidate, Varun Gandhi, son of the late Sanjay Gandhi (Indira Gandhi's younger son) was videographed spewing venom against Muslims before he was nominated as the BJP candidate. The election commission took note of the speech and not having jurisdiction over Varun Gandhi took the undprecedented step of advising the BJP not to put him up as a candidate. They chose not to listen to this advice.) saying to the NDTV correspondent, "we should not waste our vote". With number of candidates/parties vying for the Muslim vote, the Muslim vote has splintered and the beneficiary has been the BJP. Never mind that Varun Gandhi won from this consistuency, to me his victory is one of the prices we have to pay for living in a democratic country.

The Priyanka Gandhi Interview

2009-04-28T20:15:00.002+05:30

Priyanka Gandhi (daughter of late Rajiv and Sonia Gandhi) gave an interview to the Indian channel, NDTV recently.

What struck me about PG initially was how friendly she appeared to be, almost warm. May be Barkha Dutt, the interviewer was also struck by this fact too, as she asks, "As a person who'll sit down here under a tree with me and talk freely. Whereas both your mother and Rahul are seen as much more reticent, more withdrawn, more shy. Would that be correct?".

A couple of days back when she was asked about joining politics, PG had said something to the effect that " life is too complex to ever use a word like never". and I was struck by the wisdom in these words. As I grew up, this is something I have realised too .

"I think so, yes. And when I said -- one should never say never in life -- I really meant in life, I didn't mean in politics. I meant in life, because as you grow up, you realise that there are a lot of things that you're very rigid about when you're younger -- you think, this will never happen to me, I will never do this and I could never be like that. And as you grow up, you become a mother and everyday you're faced with something new and you have to respond to that thing. And you realise that your responses change as you grow up, so you can't just be absolutely rigid black and white and say 'yes' and 'no' to things. That's what I meant."

But what really took my breath away was what she said about confronting the assasination of her father, and her recent visit to Vellore jail to meet Nalini, a convict in the case (incidentally, Nalini was initially sentenced to death and her mercy petition was granted by the President at the instance of Sonia Gandhi, who made the case that Nalini's daughter would be orphaned if the sentence was carried out). "[...] people ask about non-violence, I think true non-violence is the absence of victimhood." Wow.

when you are a victim, you do not realise your own agency. A common strand in all of Gandhiji's non-violent actions is just that - the sense of agency, that you (the colonised Indian) can take action to remedy the situation.

That said, there was something else in the interview which made feel very uncomfortable. This is the exchange -

Barkha Dutt - "But, there is a sort of acceptance that one day, if politics goes a certain way, Rahul will be Prime Minister, or could be, I won't say will be.

Priyanka: It's quite possible, yes."

Why is it a possibility, why do we Indians have to put up with yet another Gandhi (not that I have anything against them per se, but the whole idea that if it is the Cong(i) in power, then it has to be a Gandhi, who occupies the Prime Ministerial chair makes me extremely uncomfortable.) I didn't like the sense of the inevitable in PG's voice. If there was a credible, secular option (forget the third front, it is a joke, Allah alone knows which party will jump ship if Cong(i) or BJP were to get seats close to the majority) I would have voted for them. My vote is for the Cong (i) only to prevent Advani becoming Prime Minister.

How is the hejab perceived?

2008-08-29T23:23:00.004+05:30

Hejab is a topic that has been flogged to death in the blogosphere and elsewhere. But I cannot resist putting something up here on it.

A couple of weeks ago, just as I was getting ready to pray Maghrib, a non-Muslim friend dropped in (yeah, in India friends do arrive unannounced and this is something I missed when I lived abroad). She saw me in my prayer garb and said "I am a little scared of people dressed like this and I am just going to stand in the balcony until you finish". I told her she could sit comfortably indoors and she refused.

At least she was honest. But I cannot help wonder why she was scared. It is not as if she is from some place where there are no Muslims, in fact she is from a part of Kerala where there are more Muslims than where I am from. Living in neighbourhoods where there are Muslims does not really alleviate fears about them, unless there is interaction. In fact, this friend was very surprised when she found out I was Muslim, somehow, I didn't fit into her category of a Muslim.

Much has been said about multi-religious neighbourhoods in Kerala and its largely peaceful communal atmosphere. But, from this experience I think living together can be active and passive and probably what we are seeing is living together in the passive

libraries - the good, bad and ugly

2008-08-21T22:59:00.002+05:30

These days I have been visiting some libraries in Delhi for academic work. I assumed that the JNU library would have the best collection on multiculturalism, since there are at least two academics at the Centre for Political Studies who work on that topic. Turns out I was wrong. I checked the physical catalogue and did not find many important authors.

Not only that, the services are not as great (" We are experiencing problems with JSTOR and other journal databases, should get it sorted out in 15 days", I was told when I approached an assistant about not being able to log in to online databases. To wait for 15 days is a bit too much, when you are working within a deadline."So, your log-in info is not working, the person who gave that you is coming back in 10 days, wait till then" What-the-heck? When I worked in offices, the services I provided were not suspended when I went on leave). The JNU online catalogue cannot be accessed off-site, which is such a bummer since I can't access the computers at JNU.

So, without much hope I went to Delhi University. S, the friend I had mentioned earlier in the Chandni Chowk post did his Ph.D at Delhi School of Economics and had wholeheartedly recommended it to me. What a revelation - a kind librarian who really wants to help you access and an excellent collection. I got most of the material I needed for my work and full marks to the assistants (especially the young woman, whom the older library assistant sweetly refers to as "Bacchhe") for trying hard to find the books. They even said they will get books for me from other DU libraries where I don't have access currently.

Today I went to the main arts library at DU and found some of the important texts on multiculturalism which JNU didn't seem to have. I was pleasantly surprised by the efficient service, right from the deputy librarian down to the assistants who work in the stacks. Also, the DU library catalogue can be accessed from the comfort of my home, which is a real boon since I can do the preliminary work at home.

Now my rant is reserved for the Indian Law Institute library. Last year, I had got permission for a month. But there was this kid (ok, not a kid, but a young man who gave himself airs) who loved to boss around. He just radiated bad vibes. The ILI library has been really refurbished under the current director and that deserves to applauded, but they also need to hire staff who understand that they are not gatekeepers or watchmen/women.

Proper signage within the library(DU arts library is excellent for this), information on the websites about library access, contact information of key staff, an online catalogue, how-to-get-there info (none on DU website, had to ask a friend, JNU has a map which cannot be enlarged) and most importantly helpful staff - is all this too much to ask for?

I am back

2008-08-17T01:22:00.003+05:30

Not sure how many of you are checking this anymore. But I am back, at least for now. I see my last post was more than a year ago.

Chalo Chandni Chowk

2007-05-28T22:30:00.000+05:30

Around two weeks ago, S and I went to Chandni Chowk so I could shop for some silver jewellery. Now if you know my friend S you will be very surprised that he came with me. There was a point in his life when S owned just two pairs of Kurta Pyjama. I convinced him with the argument that there is always a first time and he could impress his amrikan girlfriend when she is back in India about his knowledge of silver jewellery.

Now, shopping in Chandni Chowk is different shopping in South Delhi. We stopped at a nimbu pani wala and on offer was Kashmiri Masala nimbu. I asked for some. The shopkeeper takes one look at me and tells S in chaste urdu that I won't be able to handle it due to the masala. Each shop we went, S did a whole drama about his superior Urdu skills and my lack of comprehension of the language ("Ye south se hain", he would say dismissively to the shopkeeper waving his hand) and I was treated with respect (no bargaining though, one kajal eyed, Kufi wearing shopekeeper told me). In one of the shops, the shopkeeper is having a long chat and pays no attention to me and S who are being served by the shop assistant. In walks an old gentleman who recites a Shair to the shop keeper. I feel like I am transported to a different world - where time was not money and poetry was not distraction.

Should go to Chandni Chowk to remind myself once in a while that Dilli is not to be equated to South Delhi.

the mohsin hamid evening

2007-05-13T23:01:00.000+05:30

Before I begin, let me get this off my chest. I am prejudiced against baba log.
I thought they were limited to India, until I met the Pakistani version when I went abroad for graduate studies ("How come you always dress in Salwar Kamiz here?", I was asked by one of them, the subtext being, shouldn't you know better than to look so "ethnic"). When I came across an article in the Times magazine by Hamid about going back to Lahore a couple of years back, I found elitism and class consciousness written all over it and was reminded of the Sahibs and Begums I met in that University town.

So, I was almost determined not to like Hamid's talk and book reading as well:-) Hamid comes across as a nerdy investment banker(which is not surprising given that he is still employed). But the first thing which struck me when he walked on to stage were the eyes and the glasses, and how they looked a bit like Salman Rushdie's.

He made a lot of interesting, though not original points about the so-called war between Islam and the West. I found his explanation about using the novel as a device for the larger political points such as the use of the monologue format, nostalgia and romanticising in the novel and the choice of the title, illuminating. He handled questions well - I expected some Hindutvadi type questions about Pakistan and Je+ha+d, but fortunately, we were lucky. One questioner asked about Hamid's audience and his agenda. I detected a certain edge to that question and it seemed Hamid did as well. He laughed it off saying his first agenda was to get some milk and then went on to say that just because the listener in the story is an American, does not mean that it is meant for a western audience alone ("I want everyone on the planet to read this book", I remember him saying) and as far as his agenda is, he said, he did not need a novel to explain his agenda, his views were clear from the Op=Ed pieces he had written.

Perhaps the best point he made was the "fundamentalist until proven secular" point about Muslims in countries where they are a minority. Hamid said, this may be true of Indian Muslims and I nodded my head vigorously in the audience. This sort of (I am still prejudiced against the BL) redeemed Hamid for me.

Theres a piece on Hamid in this weeks Tehelka (too tired to search for the link, sorry!)

one random question

2007-05-02T21:18:00.000+05:30

why do you Punjabis dominate Bollywood?

I am listening to Rock n Roll Soniye from KANK. I love the song and whenever I am feeling a bit low, I listen to it.

A blast from the past:-)

2007-04-22T11:58:00.000+05:30

I wrote this a while ago after the Beslan massacre. I sent it to Muslimwakeup, but never got a reply. Anyways, I was looking through my files and came upon it and thought my small readership may be interested in reading it:-) Comments are welcome as always, but I may not respond as I have a lot on my plate next week.

***********************************************************************************

Terror in Allah’s Name: When will we talk to the "enemy"?

June 1, 1987, Kochi, Kerala, India: June 1 is a special day for any child in Kerala. It is the day when schools across the south Indian State reopen after the long summer vacation. Today, sitting in my apartment thousands of miles away, I was reminded of that rain-drenched day in 1987, when my long love-affair with history began. That was the day, when a very dear teacher of mine, Prema miss walked into class VII B of my school in Kochi. Why did I think of Prema Miss? Why was I reminded of the excitement with which I looked forward to classes with a teacher who was famed in my school for making history come alive? Well, I happened to watch the “Panorama” program on BBC World, the program talked of school reopening day in another school, in another city, in another country: School no.1, Beslan, Russia. The program referred to the wonderful Russian custom of students bringing flowers for their teachers as the new school year began and of how in a few hours everything went terribly, terribly wrong.

One of the interviewees told the BBC, “I begged him to let at least the babies leave” and he (the militant) said “pray to Allah, pray to Allah”. To me, a believer, that one statement represents a deep crisis, a crisis that means the glorious name of Allah ta’ala can be abused by anyone, anywhere in the world for purposes as diverse as secession from Russia, establishment of theocracy in Pakistan and the removal of occupation forces from Iraq.

Islamophobes revel in pointing out events such as Beslan and the killing of hostages in Iraq to argue that there is something intrinsically wrong in Islam itself. So an organic link is drawn between Salahddin and Osama Bin laden, ignoring the complex manner in which history, geography and politics are intertwined. As a Muslim and as a person who believes in humanity, I think this kind of argument leads to a vicious circle, where one side (the militants and their sympathizers) reacts to Islamophobic statements and actions and acts with even more dastardly, attention-grabbing acts and the other side (conscious and unconscious Islamophobes) continue to point fingers at Islam. At best, it is not productive and at worse, it leads to entrenchment of prejudice against each other.

Another manner of approaching the crisis is by examining “root causes” of this rage in the name of Islam. This is usually well-intentioned and takes a far more scholarly approach. However, in this essay, I am not interested in examining “root causes”. I believe men and women more talented than myself have and will continue to engage in that kind of work. I want to focus on what ordinary Muslims like you and me, who do not have a lot of power and who live in countries around the world should approach this issue. I do not pretend to know all the answers. I am only tracing the broad contours of a possible conversation here.

I am troubled when I meet Muslims who love the victim talk. Mind you, when I say this I am not referring to Muslims who have actually suffered oppression, rather students at ivy league universities, upper class Pakistanis, and well-educated Keralites, Muslims who have rarely encountered the damaging discrimination which marks out a human being as the “other.” This “victim” thinking goes something like this: “The Islamic Ummah is in danger from non-Muslims around the world and I am worried about my Ummah as a Muslim, so I am in danger too.” What is interesting and important to note is that this “victim” feeling goes beyond a sense of solidarity with discriminated Muslims, it is in fact a sense of disempowerment. I agree that these feelings exist on a continuum, but the distinction between solidarity on the one hand and disempowerment and victimhood on the other is crucial.

Needless to say, the exact social, political and economic reasons why say, a middle class British Pakistani Muslim man feels victimized will differ from why a Muslim engineering student in Kerala feels she is a victim. But, the common denominator is the feeling of disempowerment as a Muslim. Now why is recognizing victim talk as a problem important? Believing you are a victim of other people’s wrongful deeds is in a perverse sense an easy thing because you do not have to take responsibility. It is perverse precisely because the “victim” is actually depriving himself or herself of human agency, something all individuals, including the homeless man at the underground station near my work place, are blessed with in varying degrees. Taking responsibility and holding yourself accountable are very difficult things to do. As I try to explain below, we should replace the sense of victimhood, with a constructive engagement with the challenge of terrorism in the name of Islam.

Another approach among Muslims today is to disengage from the issue completely. The thinking that animates this sense of disengagement is as follows: “I am not personally responsible for the acts of some Muslim men who decided to fly passenger planes into the Pentagon and the World Trade Center, taking the light out of the lives of thousands of people. 9/11 and its aftermath did not affect me personally. I want to get on with my life.” If responsibility were to be understood narrowly, similar to criminal responsibility, this thinking is indeed right. That said I believe that, as Muslims, we cannot afford to dismiss the import of violence committed in the name of Islam. Why is this so? Because especially in these troubled times, being a Muslim is a 24/7 “job.” Being a Muslim is not something that springs into action five times a day, during Ramadan and at a halal restaurant only to disappear into the realm of the “private/personal” world at other times. It has a strong bearing on how many of us Muslims perceive the world around us and how the world looks at us. So, if we disengage ourselves completely from acts committed in the name of Islam, I wonder whether we at least partially deny a part of our own self.

In referring to the “victim” mentality and the sense of disengagement, I have traced positions taken by Muslims today that lie at two extremes. I admit that there are of course various other ways in which each of us try to deal with complex challenge thrown up by terrorism in the name of Islam. The next question then is, how should we engage ourselves positively with this challenge? It is now well understood in Muslim circles, especially in North America and parts of Europe that this means we have to reach out to non-Muslims. However, I do wonder whether this reaching out is limited to a certain group – left leaning religious and religion friendly folk. I do not think that reaching out to the rabid Islamophobe is going to be easy. In this regard, let me quote what Mahatma Gandhi, the father of the modern Indian nation, said ages ago:

“You may be astonished to learn that I continue to receive letters charging me that I have compromised the interests of Hindus by acting as a friend of Muslims. How can I convince the people by mere words, if the last sixty years of my public life have failed to demonstrate that by trying to befriend the Muslims, I have only proved myself a true Hindu, and have rightly served Hindus and Hinduism. The essence of true religious teaching is that one should serve and befriend all. This I learnt in my mother’s lap. You may refuse to call me a Hindu. I know no defence except to quote a line from Iqbal’s song, Mazhab nahin sikatha aapas me bair rakhna meaning ‘religion does not teach us to bear ill will towards one another.’ It is easy enough to be friendly to one’s friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.” (emphasis mine).

While on the topic of Gandhiji, my mind goes back to the state where he was born in 1869, Gujarat. In 2002, in Gujarat, a train carrying Hindu piligrims and Kar Sevaks[i] was burned down in the town of Godhra. In the following retaliatory violence, unspeakable atrocities were committed on Muslims. I lived in New Delhi at that time and was in deep shock at the events happening in my country, a country which in 1947 on independence from British colonial rule, accepted secularism and recognized minority rights in the Constitution, long before multiculturalism became fashionable in the West. As a Muslim, it was heartening to see how several non-Muslims came together to condemn the violence, organize demonstrations, and monitor and report human rights violations.

But, there is one question often asked by right wing commentators and politicians in India, (the mischievous motive behind it is irrelevant to our discussion), which caused me to ponder. The question was this “Where are the samaj sevaks[ii] when Islamic militants burn down the homes of Kashmiri Pandits (Hindus) forcing them to flee and spent their whole lives in refugee camps in Jammu and in Delhi?” Indeed where was I? Barring one extremely gracious Kashmiri Pandit woman and the Pashmina shawl sellers at the Dilli Haat market, I do not know any Pandits. I hardly thought of their plight in having to leave their homeland because they belonged to the “wrong” faith. I guess the point I am making is simply this: Muslims like you and me have a duty that goes beyond focusing on Islam and the Muslims who commit violence and restricting dialogue to people with relatively open minds. We should also be willing extend support and be able empathize with non-Muslims who have suffered due to violence committed in the name of Islam. What indeed is the difference between the Kashmiri Pandit living in a refugee camp in Delhi and the Palestinian Muslim living in a refugee camp in Gaza? The “other” is us in another place and another time.

Allah knows best.

[i] The literal meaning of “Kar Sevak” is a person who performs voluntary services in a place of worship. However, in India from the mid-80s onwards this term has taken on a political meaning. Kar sevaks were mobilized by the far right in India to demolish the Babri Masjid in Ayodhya.

[ii] Samaj Sevak is a Hindi word for social activist

long time no see

2007-04-07T22:52:00.000+05:30

It has been a while since I posted here. I was busy house hunting for almost a month. You should have deep pockets to rent in Delhi . I have finally found a place Alhamdulillah.

The interesting thing about Delhi is the presence of villages (complete with kutcha roads and cows tethered to lamposts) right next to a posh colonies (kotla for Defence Colony, Yusuf Sarai for Green Park and Gulmohar Park, Bhogal for the soon-to-be-posh Jangpura and so on)

The positive side is that I got to know parts of Delhi that I did not know much about earlier. I guess, if you are travelling alone in a car with 2 land agents you barely know, glancing at the map to be sure you know where they are taking you, this is what happens. Sometimes I forced male friends and colleagues to come with me when I went househunting, but not all the time was this possible. On such occasions, I just prayed, took a deep breath and went alone with the landagents.

when residence is not equal to belonging

2007-03-12T22:52:00.000+05:30

I am determined to watch Sanjay Kak's documentary "Jashn-e-Azadi" tomorrow (Insha Allah)

A couple of years ago, my sister and I were bargaining for a shawl. It was good natured bargaining that desis should be familiar with. At the end, the shawl seller told us that we should have tea. We politely declined and she asked him "Aap Kahan se Hain?"(=where are you from, sir?) to which he replied "Hum dilli ke rahnewale hain, Kashmir tho sirf Musalmanom ka he na?"(=we are residents of Delhi, Kashmir belongs only to Muslims right?). Evidently, the shawl seller thought we were Hindus too and my sister and I were silent, somehow ashamed to identify ourselves as Muslims. It was such an uncomfortable and sad moment.

DJ Drama's Dad

2007-02-20T15:14:00.000+05:30

The world wide web is full of news about the arrest and release of DJ Drama, the Atlanta based mixed tape artist. A recent NYT Sunday Magazine article refers to Drama's father fleetingly as "civil rights activist". Nick (that is the name I have chosen for him) is a civil rights activist who has totally internalised the values of the civil rights movement and is one person whom I have the honour of calling my friend.

For me a friend is someone who will challenge your assumptions, how so ever closely held these are. I remember one conversation Nick, Carrie (my name for his partner) and I had in November of 2005 which lasted late into the night and at the end of which, I was shocked, angry and absolutely flabbergasted. The conversation was about race, white privilege and class. Until that moment, I thought I had the "right" opinions but opinions are not enough, I had not interrogated my privilege and how that was capable of actually undermining the development of the communities I claimed to be working for. Nick had the honesty to lay bare the facts for me. I didn't accept what he said then and there and it hurt to think that idealist, do-gooder me could in fact be perpetuating hegemony. But I thought over his words for days and days and then the reality dawned.

There is a magnetic quality to Nick's personality, Nick and Carrie would throw open their doors for events every once in a while when friends and their friends are invited to join them for an evening of film, lecture and discussion. But it is not all talk either. Very very few people in today's world are willing to place their principles above everything, including career prospects, wealth and fame. Nick is one among the few who has done that and I am sure if given another opportunity will do it again.

No, Nick is not perfect, nor am I or you my reader. However, what makes him special is the combination of personality traits that is very difficult to come by in today's world. Recently, one of my clients told me that his sister lives in Philadelphia and I felt a tug in my heart, since Philly is after all Nick's town.

of moving on and Adha Veettukku Veettukku

2007-02-19T23:53:00.000+05:30

I commented on Tamil songs over at Koonj and was reminded of one summer vacation in my grandmother's house when all I did was listen over and over and over to the hit songs that year (17 years back in 1990) from the Tamil movie "Kizhakku Vaasal", specifically the song "Adha Veettukku Veettukku".

I am listening to it now and whoa what a blast from the past it is. The cousin brothers I used to carry on my hips are young men now and I can no longer engage in baby talk with them ("konchuka" in Malayalam). My relationships with my uncles and aunts have all changed as I grew older. The river has all but dried and the riverside where we bathed (the Kadavu in Malayalam) is overgrown with weed as everyone has moved away.

My moments with Dilli Shehar

2007-02-19T16:55:00.000+05:30

I was just clicking through some great Delhi photos by Mayank Austin Soofi (came there via Jahane Rumi). You can see them here. He succeeds in capturing the different facets of the city.

I have a love-hate relationship with this city. There are times when I think I will never fit in in this city where everything - even ordering water (yes I have to order drinking water from a private supplier, more on that later) has to be negotiated. I call them my sala Madrasi (= a derogatory term for southies) moments. Then I have my Dilli Meri Jaan (= Dilli my love) moments, when I am filled with pride, when India Gate, Rashtrapathi Bhavan and all the wide tree filled boulevards in central Dilli come into view, when I become aware of the of independence and anonymity that this city gives me as a woman and when I think of its relative (relative to where I grew up) cosmopolitan character.

food and a sliver of history

2007-02-18T01:00:00.000+05:30

. Two garam (=hot) samosas followed by two really meethi (=sweet) jelebis (and it has to be had at Kadimi Dukan in Bhogal, Dilli) is pure bliss. I used to work in Jangpura extension not so long ago and at times we used to take illegal breaks to go on trips to Kadimi's. The other day, I was in Bhogal with one of my Punjabi friends from my new place of work. She was really surprised to see me (in her mind I am the coconut oil+dosa-idli Southie) happily munch them.

Oh and my Pakistani readers may find it interesting that a lot of Hindu and Sikh families settled down in Bhogal and Jangpura in the wake of partition. I definitely recollect seeing a "Lahore mithaiwala" and "Lahore shoes" in Bhogal market.

Cooking pasta

2007-02-11T21:52:00.002+05:30

I am cooking pasta and was reminded of the very first time I cooked it. My very dear Italian friend (let me call her Hilary) was mortified when she tasted it "You killed the poor pasta. Oh... all of you non-Italians like to overcook it, pasta has to be aldente". I could never eat her version of the pasta for several months together. But probably because I worked late in the library and came home ravenous (and by then Hilary usually had food ready and was only happy to share it yours truly), I soon developed a taste for her pasta.

Hilary and I got along so famously that even our college tutor/law Prof. commented on it:-) I was very much the small town girl and she was much more cosmopolitan than me. But there was something about Hilary's personality, which was so transparently genuine and sincere. Our friendship is testament to the fact that friendship is indeed a meeting of hearts and culture, language and religion are only marginal in a friendship.

My sincere apologies

2007-02-05T19:50:00.000+05:30

to Muslim Mama and Bindu Menon for not having posted their comments from oens ago until 2 days back. From mid July-October of last year, I was just caught up with life and barely managed to check my email. I saw the comments and meant to post them here, but didn't get around to doing it until now. My apologies and I hope you have not given up on me:-)

Go watch Parzania

2007-02-04T12:28:00.000+05:30

I managed to watch Parzania last week. It is based on the true story of a young Parsi boy, Azhar who has been missing since 2002.

It is a must -watch for anyone who is interested in Gujarat, 2002. It protrays exactly what happened in Feb-April 2002 and the complicity of the state administration, down to references to the now notorious cabinet meeting where Narendra Modi reportedly told the police to give the Hindutvavadis a free hand. The continuing hold of the Sangh Parivar in Gujarat is clear from the fact that no theatre is willing to screen the movie there.

Sarika was wonderful as Shernaz and Naseeruddin Shah was well, Naserduddin Shah and the two children were great. I especially liked the protrayal of intimacy between the couple and bonding between the parents and children. Those scenes were realistic. I have to add that I have some problems with the story - Allen, the American seemed a bit jarring to me in the first half. Also, the Gandhian who was sitting around pontificating about the Mahatma and his ideology when the city was burning and manages to bring about a transformation in Allen's attitude didn't seem very Gandhian to me (remember Noakhali?).

Azhar's parents hoped that if the moview was screened in Gujarat, that could help bring their son back to them. Now that is not going to be as long as Gujarat is being held hostage by thugs and fascists.

On partition

2007-01-09T16:29:00.000+05:30

There was a time when I viewed critique about the situation of Muslims in India by non-Indian Muslims (esp. if they have connection to a country the name of which starts with the alphabet "P":-)))with a great deal of irritation. But over time, I have realised that: 1) there is no need to defend the indefensible and 2)Indian Muslims are not a monolith -the ugly sits with the beautiful.

No doubt, there are serious problems that Muslims face in India - most tragically exemplified by Gujarat, 2002. However, I don' think that the two nation theory is an answer to the problems Muslims faced in pre-independence India. I think that carving out countries because of inter-community problems is never going to be a solution. Also the partition movement was premised on the idea of a monolothic Muslim community and did not take into account inter-community schisms.

I would even argue that nothing destroyed Indian Islam (I am not talking of the piety of individual Muslims but of Muslims as a socio-political entity) like partition did. The migration of the North Indian Muslim intellectual elite meant that Indian Islam was deprived of a middle class that could have become the focal point for social transformation. The Muslims who chose to remain in India would forever be tarred with having divided the country. Now I am from the south. I read somewhere (maybe Ashutosh Varshney) that in South India the vaishya caste (i.e. the Hindu caste for merchants) is largely absent and this space was occupied by Muslims. I am assuming that merchants would not be as invested in social advancement as a group of scholars and thinkers would be and I would even say that merchants as a group would favour the status quo.

So partition meant that India lost what could potentially have been a force for change in the community. In some ways, South Indian Muslims are today trail blazers for the rest of Muslims in India because some sections of the community have become wealthy enough to be able to afford looking beyond the status quo. The influx of gulf money, while blamed for the ugly Mappilah baroque houses, also meant that community organisations and trusts were set up for advancing education and in recent times there is a great deal of interest in women's education, like never before. But we had to wait for 50+ years for this change to happen!

Being Muslim in the street

2006-11-14T13:20:00.000+05:30

"How come Shahrukh Khan is adored in a country where there is so much prejudice against Muslims?"An American friend who is living in India asked me recently. At a superficial level, it will confound people that one of the biggest stars in bollywood is a Muslim. Also, the fact that Khan unlike Dilip Kumar retained his Muslim name in movies would be considered as some kind of progress.

In public consciousness in India, there is a "good" Muslim and then there is the "bad" (typified of course by the beard, salwar Kameez and the purdah) Muslim. You are a "good" Muslim if you do not wear your Muslimness loudly in public spaces. The moment you criticize the status quo, the moment your Muslim self becomes prominent, the reaction you get has a strong undercurrent of fear ('so you were like them after all'). The problem is human beings rarely divide their lives in pigeon holes. There are Muslims who may want to be both - who may want to wear hijab but still have pretty strong views against triple talaq or women's right to maintenance. There is very little space for people like that and in fact, there is confusion when confronted with such people. I would even say that some(though not all) of the strong reaction from some Indian feminists against Muslim women re-reading Islamic sources for better rights stems from this dichotomous vision, that you can only be modern if you are secular i.e. if you give up your relgious identity, if not fully, then at least in the public space.

Ihath is an author!

2006-11-02T19:37:00.000+05:30

Don't" Shoot! ... I have another story to tell you

I discovered Elen Ghulam aka Ihath via the extraordinary Hijabman last year. I remember going through her archives and then going out to get brownies and coffee at my favourite coffee shop, since it just made perfect sense to read her with my favourite brownies dipped in coffee. I read every single post (I can get quite obsessive) and remember laughing, crying and shaking my head (I shake my head when I read or hear anything insightful) through that night. So now that Ihath has turned writer, the least I can do is to put this up here.

note to self: add a link to Ihath on my blogroll

Money talks and how

2006-10-19T22:29:00.000+05:30

In Malayalam there is a saying "panathinu mukalil parunthum parakkilla". I am in Ernakulam. A few major textile shops (mind you, none of them are Muslim-owned) in EKM have made provision for iftaar and Salat during Ramadhan. The idealist in me would like to think that this is a example of communal harmony, but this also makes good business sense, when you have a Muslim middle class and upper class that will spent a lot of money during Ramadhan.

MIA

2006-10-19T22:27:00.000+05:30

Sorry my (few) readers. I have been busy in real life.

Mourning for the people killed in Mumbai

2006-07-12T21:36:00.000+05:30

A horrible attack on people, most of whom were returning home to their loved ones after a hard day of work. Heres hoping fervently that communal violence does not break out like it did in Gujarat.

An extract from Suketu Mehta's Maximum City (via Uma)

If you are late for work in Mumbai and reach the station just as the train is leaving the platform, don't despair. You can run up to the packed compartments and find many hands unfolding like petals to pull you on board. And while you will probably have to hang on to the door frame with your fingertips, you are still grateful for the empathy of your fellow passengers, already packed tighter than cattle, their shirts drenched with sweat in the badly ventilated compartment. They know that your boss might yell at you or cut your pay if you miss this train. And at the moment of contact, they do not know if the hand reaching for theirs belongs to a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian or a Brahmin or an Untouchable. Come on board, they say. We'll adjust.

A touching story

2006-06-16T23:04:00.000+05:30

Please take a moment to read(with thanks to Annie Zaidi) this.

A time when NAM meant something

2006-06-16T22:08:00.000+05:30

Gamal Abdel Nasser Marg*
Nelson Mandela Marg
Africa Avenue
Josip Broz Tito Marg
Simon Bolivar Marg

*Marg means Road in Hindi

These are the names of some roads in Delhi. There is a history that is common to all these roads. The history of the non-aligned movement (NAM) and third world solidarity, one of Nehru's pet projects. It lies mostly in shambles now and people in positions of power no longer talk about enhancing south-to-south links. But the names remain, mute testaments to a time when much of the world was almost created anew after colonialism and there was so much more optimism and hope.

Sudama's children

2006-06-12T19:22:00.001+05:30

Outlook has an article about posh schools in Delhi which have been forced (by a Delhi High Court order) to admit students from poor economic backgrounds. One of the statements in the article caught my attention.

"It has been a sheer privilege, the most satisfying thing I’ve done in my career," says nursery teacher Prachi Behl, who sources swimsuits for her wards in Sarojini Nagar, translates report cards into Hindi, replaces mango shake with nimbupani in a home activity sheet (to avoid the use of blenders) and figures out how to explain jelly, jam and porridge to kids who have no idea what they are.

Being middle-class or rich is not only about material comforts you can enjoy, but also the comfort level people have with consumer goods. On a different note, if we were to do an age-wise comparison, I would think children are the most conservative of human beings. Every child wants to fit in and there are times when fitting in means looking down upon someone else. Many of us have stories about never belonging to the cool set in school. I worry about these children, how they are going to survive emotionally, without having their spirits crushed, because they don't go on vacantion to Shimla and Kasauli and don't have chauffeurs dropping them off at schools.

Says Madhu Suri, a social worker and teacher who coaches children from the J.J. Bandhu camp, and got 15 of them into neighbourhood private schools, "There are two kinds of pain—the pain of growing up in a jhuggi with little hope of change, and the pain of adjustment in studying with well-off kids in a private school. How do we know which is worse?"

Public school system in India is in a state of disrepair and lots of money along with othe resources should be pumped into the system on a long term basis to lift it up. In the meantime (to paraphrase a feminist slogan) these children can't wait. Emotional well being ("am I happy/at peace here") is crucial for everyone, but more so when you are a child. I wonder how the schools are coping with this issue.

44, Kastrubha Gandhi Marg

2006-06-07T17:17:00.000+05:30

has little meaning in India if you want to reach this address physically (post is a different matter). People typically give directions by referring to landmarks. One of my first days in Delhi after having been away in firangi land, I asked a couple of friends I was meeting for recommendations for a good hairdresser. When they began telling me about landmarks ("go behind Khan market from the Bahrisons side and then you will pass a sarkari* looking building with lampshadewalas, ask anyone there and they will tell you"). I had my firangi blinders on and asked them for the address (as in number and street) and they looked at me as if something was wrong with me.

When I reached there, I had to ask three people (2 lampshade shops (this building had more than proportionate number of lampshade walas and that is something about Delhi that I have not got used to, there is a whole gali full of spectacle walas in Chandni Chowk) and one Khadi Bhandar place) before I finally found the place.

Under this system you end up talking to more people, making that human connection. Koonj has written about the lack of human connection that she encountered in US. I have to say that in India it is the other way around. You stop to ask someone for directions and you can be assured that 2 other onlookers will contribute to the conversation(strangely enough, I have never seen this in Kerala). Sometimes this can be uncomfortable. Delhi is not a safe city, do I really want all these strange men to know where I am going? So, I typically ask women and that too in a low voice, so I don't get unsolicited advice on where plaza cinema is in Connaught Place.

sarkari building = Buildings that house government offices. They are often built by the Central Public Works Department, tend to be rather ugly and are not well- maintained. If you have lived in India, identifying them should not be difficult.

Fastfood without the guilt

2006-06-04T15:43:00.000+05:30

When T and M were visiting, M made some delicious Kichdi at my place. M is a great cook ( the puliyodharai she made five years ago is still fondly remembered). Now I have taken to making this whenver I am running short of time.

It is the easiest thing to make if you have a pressure cooker (don't know about other desis, but for Indians, p-c is an absolute must in a kitchen). I cook basmati rice and arhar dal in 2:1 proportion in a p-c. In a Kadai, I cook tomatoes, onion (you can add other veggies too) with the standard desi spices - chilly, dhania powder and turmeric (all added andaz se) and once that is ready, add it to the cooked rice+dhal. Add salt (I always add salt last, but amma tells me that is not advisable) and it is ready to eat. I usually eat this kichdi with dahi, achar and papad.

Have you felt jealous?

2006-06-01T22:28:00.000+05:30

I was reading something that someone very very dear to me wrote. I realised that I could never even hope to write like that. Words seem to be stringed perfectly, like that pearl necklace on Salma aunty's neck. Then I asked myself whether I felt jealous. No, I didn't, not even a bit. I think when you love somebody deeply you own a little bit of them, so their achievements become yours too.

Kudos to Aamir Khan

2006-05-27T20:59:00.000+05:30

for standing up to the BJP thugs in Gujarat who have imposed an unofficial ban on the movie "Fanaa". BTW, a while ago I read in "Himal" that after watching Lagaan Advani had requested Khan to campaign for the BJP in the Uttar Pradesh elections and that Khan had refused.

update:

I realised that I misspelt Khan's name. I really like two songs from Fanaa "Chand Sifarish" and "Mere Hath Mein"

"I am not Bengali"

2006-05-24T00:36:00.000+05:30

This is the second time I am saying this in the space of two weeks. First time it was the sabji wallah and today it was at the bank. I am not complaining, I think humans like to categorise to make sense of the world and while there are offensive and oppresive extremes that categroisation can lead to, this is not one such.

I categorise people too. I seem to subconciously know whom to use English with and whom to use my shaky Hindi (aaargh why do objects have gender????) with. What is the Bengali look anyway?

Shades Of Grey

2006-05-20T09:24:00.000+05:30

As children, we are told of the world in two colours - black and white or good and evil, a world of the ideal and the non-ideal. As you grow you realise that life is full of shades of grey. The reality of today may not hold true tommorrow. The close friend who is now only a notch above being an acquaintance, this highly pessimistic person who has a virtual reservoir of compassion for other people and the auto-rickshaw wallah who will bargain crazily over fares but will tell you stories of how he left his village in Bihar. There is no good person and no evil person. Both dwell in each of us.

2006-05-12T20:30:00.000+05:30

I travelled on the Delhi metro a couple of days ago. It is efficient, clean and inexpensive. I paid Rs.8/- to get to India Gate from Chandini Chowk. The aadmis and aurats using the Metro seem like aam middle class log, not your hoity-toity types. The metro is a real boon because public transport in Delhi has serious problems. Most autowallahs in Delhi don't have meters and so you have to fix the price before you use it and there aren't enough buses to cater to all the people who use them. At the moment, the metro is functional only in parts of the city, but even that in itself is such a relief.

Only a small complaint - please, please, don't imitate the London Tube. please don't say "mind the gap" and/or its Hindi equivalent.

2006-05-08T18:02:00.000+05:30

Of monsoons and comfort zones

It is frigging hot here in Dilli and I am missing the monsoon in Kerala. Come beginning of June and the monsoons will hit Kerala. My favourite memory of the monsoon is sitting in Salimmama's room in our grandmother's house with my favourite Chinnamma (=mother's sister) just taking in the rains as it wet my grandmother's flowerpots, the chambakka tree and the rubber trees. We sat in silence, an adult and child enjoying the spectacle, perched on mama's bed.

I met a Malayalee for coffee yesterday and he is going home on vacation. Ithu Vare njan Mazha seasonil nattil vacationu poyittilla (= Until now I haven't gone home on vacation during the rainy season) he told me. I realised with a pang of regret that I had missed the monsoon season for several years now. But wait, I am not like the woman who looked at a garbage heap near Purana Qila and said "nammude nadu poleyalla"(=not like our place) as if there are no garbage heaps in Kerala. The standard immigrant story is that of the person who romanticises home. I wonder whether there are stories of people who don't romanticise, who realise how much they have grown having left their comfort zones.

2006-05-08T15:21:00.000+05:30

Having a maid

Many people in Europe and US cannot understand the concept of having a maid ("you mean someone washes your clothes!"). Lets face it, labour is relatively cheap in India and being a third world country, many middle class people don't have appliances (washing machine, dish washer etc) that can make life easier and for several people who put in several hours of work, you would rather spend that few hours at home with your children than doing errands around the house. Ok, there are people who may have all these appliances and time on their hand and still want to employ a maid. I don't have any sympathies for them.

So, generally speaking, I don't see a problem in employing someone to perform your household duties. However, that is not to say that there are no problems with the system. The problem as I see it is this, maid-master/mistress relationship is not framed in terms of employer-employee relations. It is seen in terms of charity and servility.

2006-05-05T16:06:00.000+05:30

In Delhi

I am in Delhi these days and it feels wonderful to be back home. When the plane touched down at the Indira Gandhi international at midnight, the silence inside the aircraft was broken by the voice of a small child going "Alhamdulillah":-) What a great way to come back home.

2006-03-18T14:49:00.000+05:30

Raaga.com zindabad!

If you are an overworked programmer working in the US, I suspect , like me, you would also be logging on to raaga.com. At times when I was tired of spending hours working on projects with tight deadlines, I would surreptiously go to raaga.com and listen to "kajra re". These days, my favourite songs are from the movie Parineeta.

2006-02-12T23:17:00.000+05:30

Is a single Muslim man

who tries to pray regularly
eats only halal meat
does not eat pork or drink alcohol, but will go to a bar to hang out with friends
who has decided to marry only a Muslim woman
has a beard (3-4 days growth)
likes watching movies and dancing, but is uncomfortable dancing with women
who has several gay and lesbian friends
who supports the women-led prayer in New York city last year

a moderate Muslim or a conservative Muslim, will the media pundits please explain?

************
I am sick of this moderate/conservative dichotomy.

2006-01-30T01:50:00.000+05:30

Right now...

I want to talk to S, see how he is doing, coping with Meeto's death. Please Allah grant him the strength to go through this.

Life ain't easy. I am working insane hours and at the end of the day I feel &*(^%$ But hearing about her death, made me reflect on the time we human being spent on earth, how ephemeral it all is...

I shared so many happy and joyful moments with S. His absolutely rockacious sense of humour, the naughtiness (the number of pranks he played on R, made me feel sorry for her), the chai-politics discussions with him, K and N, his idea to buy a cycle for Mji, one of our admin. staff, the delicious sandwiches (Desi sandwiches are so much better, i tell you) he brought for lunch etc.

Ok, gotta say this.

S had just graduated from law school and(lawyers in India wear a black gown to court) his non-lawyer father sent him his grandad's "senior"status gown (after years and years of practice, both High Courts and the Supreme Court of India grant "senior" status in recognition of a a lawyer's superior legal skills and for adherence to ethics. The gown of a senior lawyer is different from that of other lawyers. S's grandad was a highly respected senior lawyer at the Madras High Court) to wear on his first day in court and all of us, including my boss (The Indian Supreme Court's first woman senior lawyer) had a good laugh. Finally the joke was on the prankster:-)

Sweet S, be well.

2006-01-29T03:27:00.000+05:30

On Meeto and an evening we shared

She was the woman who at times sat opposite me at this library and always had a warm smile. We never talked, but always smiled at each other. A year later in Delhi, my friend S whom she was dating then, proudly showed me her photograph, adding "is'nt she beautiful?" and I realised that this was my library smile friend. Later, when my world was falling apart during the massacre of Muslims in Gujarat, S,K,N and I went to her house, near the Indian Law Institute and the Supreme Court on Bhagwan Das Road. I wanted to bond with someone, anyone, who shared my anguish and outrage at what was happening in Gujarat. We all talked and then went out for chaat at Bengali market. Later that evening, all of us went for a screening of a documentary on the massacre that Sahmat had organised at the Constitution Club. Watching the documentary , I put my hand to my mouth, so I wouldn't weep. I looked away from the screen and I saw her wiping away tears.

I just got an email from N saying "You may have known...." I didn't know.

Dear Meeto, I never knew you well, but I will always remember the spirit of that evening I shared with you. Being with like-minded people during those difficult times meant a lot to me.

2006-01-28T23:54:00.000+05:30

A south Indian Muslim's rant and perhaps a lesson for Pakistani Madrasas

When I lived in Delhi, I used to eagerly look forward to reading the Biblio. One day, I was heartened to read an observation made by Mahmood Farooqui (Rhodes scholar, writer, actor, Dastangi-performer...) in a book review in the Biblio(I am quoting from memory) that in popular discourse Indian Islam has come to mean a certain kind of Islam practised in Uttar Pradesh and Bihar, ignoring the particularities of Islam as practised elsewhere in the country. I was especially happy that someone with a distinctly Bihari/UP surname had written that.

When my sister was introduced to a elderly Muslim gentleman in Delhi, the first thing he said was .."Aap Mussulman he, tho ham Urdu mein bath karenge.." (=Oh you are Muslim, then we should talk in Urdu). Now, don't get me wrong, I do think Urdu is a beautiful language (a Pakistani friend was talking on his phone and I later told him that to me it sounded like poetry, a bit like what Eqbal Ahmed says of the time Edward Said listened to Faiz Ahmed Faiz recite his poetry-note this-without translation in war ravaged Beirut) . But, don't expect me to know Urdu simply because I am an Indian Muslim.

I thought of all this when I read the following here

"Another reason why many Muslims outside Kerala are not familiar with the Kerala experience in modernizing madrasas is the deeply rooted, yet misplaced, belief that north Indian Muslims represent, in a sense, normative Islam. Hence, many north Indians feel that they have little, if anything, to learn from the south Indian example. There is this feeling that real Islam is to be found in the north, and that south Indian Muslims do not fully measure up to that standard. When I came to Delhi I was amazed to find some north Indian Muslim students at the Jawaharlal Nehru University, which is considered to be one of the premier universities in the country, also appear to share this opinion. When they learnt that I was from Kerala, they asked me, in all seriousness, if I knew how to pray in the proper Islamic fashion! One of them even asked that if we were Muslims how is it that we cannot speak Urdu properly! When I answered them and told them about Kerala’s unique madrasa system and pointed out the fact that Kerala is among the few states in India where Arabic is taught in government schools and in all our universities, they were really surprised and embarrassed."

I think the purpose of the interview was to demonstrate that there are different kinds of Madrasas (when I say this, I am including the mosque based schools that we Kerala Muslims call Madrasa and the seminary-type Madrasas that have been in the news, under the same category) and it is possible to be a "modern" educated Madrasa graduate. The interview remined me of William Dalrymple's article in the New Statesman about Madrasas in Pakistan. Perhaps the Pakistani Madrasas can learn (pl. no turf battles - I don't say this in a patronising way, but in a genuinely curious way in the spirit of dialogue) from this approach?

2006-01-23T03:42:00.000+05:30

On loyalty, friendship and similar things

So, I was printing something at work and went to collect it from the printer. I noticed that a colleague had not collected an article in the Washington Post about Larry Wilkerson, former aide to General Colin Powell, which she had printed. I got a little curious and started reading it. The article is about Wilkerson's disillusionment (to put it mildly) with the Bush administration, his relationship with Colin Powell and about Wilkerson the person.

This article made me think about this thing called loyalty. Loyalty to human beings spring not because of their position or any potential benefit to you, but out of respect and love, something Wilkerson has for Powell. Though after Wilkerson went public with his criticism of the Bush administration, the relationship between him and Powell has soured, it is clear that Wilkerson has a great sense of admiration and loyalty for the man.

The past couple of months I have wondered about this thing called friendship. Friendships are purely circumstantial. We become friends because circumstances put us together, or conversly, friendship cannot grow when circumstances are not appropriate (I can count so many people whom I would loved to have known closer, but the situations in which we met were simply not appropriate). I also think the true test of friendship is this: when the right circumstances are not available, can we still continue to remain friends?

I digress, but only slightly. Wilkerson was willing to put his friendship with Powell on the line, for something else - his commitment to his country, to the idea of America (thanks Sunil Khilnani). It is fashionable in some left circles to disparage patriotism. Though I identify with several left causes, I don't agree with this. My caveat though is that patriotism has to be based on positive attributes, rather than negativity and hate.

In today's world, where we see so much greed, hate and fear, it sure was uplifting to read and reflect about two men, their relationship and their passion for their country.

2006-01-17T22:08:00.000+05:30

The day we went to Karim's for Eid lunch

I was reminiscing about celebrating Eids at home in India and I thought of the day my sister and I went to Karim's, the famous Delhi restaurant for Eid lunch.

I had just moved to Delhi and my sister had been living there for a couple of years. We lived in South Delhi at the time and there was a small branch of Karim's in the vicinity. But according to her friends, for the experience you gotta go to the original restaurant, in Chandni Chowk, near the Jama Masjid. My sister is vegetarian and Karim's specializes in non-veg Mughlai dishes, but out of sisterly affection she agreed that we could have Eid lunch at Karim's.

So on the morning of Eid-ul-Adha we set out from our South Delhi house. I was eagerly anticipating eating biriyani, followed by Phirni (I was very curious about Phirni, having never heard of it until I moved to Delhi). Guess what, Karim's was closed. The vendors nearby told us that they are closed only on two days a year - on Eid-ul-Fitr and Eid-ul-Adha. What a shame. But it was Eid after all and we were determined not to be upset. We went to a smaller restaurant in Daryagunj which was full of kids who were spending their Eidi after watching Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham, the hit movie that year.

Oh and if you are curious... we did go to Karim's later when atha and amma were in Delhi visiting us. Atha and my sister, the vegetarians, had to content themselves with some Naan and mixed vegetable curry, but amma and I gorged on biriyani and kebabs. But later in the day, we went to Parathewali Gali, also in Chandni Chowk, a narrow street with Paratha-walas, so the vegetarians could have their gobi parathas.

2006-01-11T22:42:00.000+05:30

(Belated) Eid Mubarak!

That is moi's hand. As you can see, I didn't have the patience to wait till the night before to apply mehendi:-)

2006-01-06T00:08:00.000+05:30

If it ai'nt gold (and/or platinum and/or diamond)...

it ai'nt jewellery, or so lots of women (and many men too) in Kerala think.
Only the upper class in Kerala can afford platinum and diamond, so for the middle class, it is still gold. Women in Kerala wear far more gold (and we are proud to let everyone else know that only 22K would do) on a daily basis than anywhere else in India. And don't even get me started on the topic of gold consumption during weddings, especially Kerala Muslim weddings, of which I happen to know a little more.Family status is measured by the amount of gold the bride wears. Also, we Keralites happily look down upon North Indian brides who wear glass bangles at their weddings.

To get a sense of this craze, if you are travelling from Thiruvananthapuram to Kochi by road, going by the hoardings on the roadside, you will be forgiven for thinking that the only things middle class Keralites (of every kind, cutting across caste, religion and region) consume is 22K gold and Kanchipuram sarees. Before I am mistaken for some kind of ascetic (ha, ha), let me emphasis that what I am protesting here is:

a) the craze for an expensive item that people cannot in reality afford (I know so many people who take out huge loans to pander to the gold mania) and attendant with this is the disdain for any other kind (including for instance, silver) of metal and God forbid if anything else (glass, beads, wood) is worn during a wedding.

b)keeping up with the Menons, Ousephs and Mohammedkuttys esp. re: gold consumption. This has reached incredible levels. Women change jewellery once in few months for the latest designs.Why? because ellavarum (=everyone) is exchanging their gold jewellery. Just in case you don't know, exchanging gold jewellery is an extremely expensive proposition and invariably the customer looses a lot of money in the process. The only people who benefit are the gold jewellery owners and the middlemen. I read a disturbing report about middle men under cutting the craftspersons, the people with the skill to convert gold into jewellery.

My Atha (=father) has always argued that the widely held perception that gold is sound investment reflects a conservative mentality towards financial investments. Frankly, I don't know much about these things, but it was interesting to see some one else voice the same opinion, albeit from the perspective of economic growth.

"It's fair to say India's economic growth would be higher if the money tied up in gold was invested more productively," says Diana Farrell, director of the McKinsey Global Institute in San Francisco." (see article here)

I am more interested in the social implications of the craze for gold, especially when the price has reached record-high levels. What does it mean for middle class, gold crazy Keralites?

2006-01-03T21:11:00.000+05:30

I was a communist...

from age 13-17 when I was in school. My parents sent me to an expensive but very good(and to this day, I am glad I went there) private school in Ernakulam and all around me I saw a lot of snobbery among the students. This was also the time when on the hand, the Bofors controversy was raging and on the other, Hindu chauvinist BJP was going from strength to strength ( BJP leader, Advani's rath (chariot) was rolling in North India, leaving people dead and injured in its trail. The Times of India called the rath yatra (= chariot journey), blood yatra in an editorial). I placed my faith in the Communists(don't ask me how I reconciled my faith in Islam with being a communist, one of those childish thingies:-))). .

Then I went to college, to a sarkar (= government) college, the annual fees there was less than 10% of my school term fees (education in state owned schools is heavily subsidized in India). My classmates were from all kinds of backgrounds, so I happened to meet people who were working part-time to help their families financially. The Student Federation of India (the student wing of the Communist Party of India(Marxist) (CPI(M)) virtually ran the campus. Congress(i)'s student wing, Kerala Student Union (KSU) was "allowed" to participate in elections to the student union. Students who did not want to participate in strikes, but wanted to study were threatened. I decided that I was not a Communist.

I thought of this change in my political outlook when I came across an article by Ramachandra Guha at "India Together" today.

2005-12-31T22:12:00.001+05:30

An Ode to The Hindu

When I was growing up, one habit that my father insisted that I pick up was to read the "The Hindu" everyday. He told me this (apocryphal?) story that NV Krishna Warrier (sorry, no introductory links. NV as Mals. call him was a litterateur of some standing and was the director of the Kerala BhashaInstitute in Thiruvananthapuram) learnt the English language with just two tools - The Hindu and the Oxford English dictionary.

I used to resent that I had to read it everyday. My father taught me how to prioritise news items ("ok, if you are not interested in sports, I won't insist you read it carefully") and skim read the the less important ones ("but you have to know who Sergei Bubka is").

As with so many habits that are resented initially only to be enjoyed later on, this is one habit I am so glad has stayed with me even after so many years. Hindu's political orientation is right up my alley and its analysis has always been sharp. I used to be struck by the paper's geographical coverage (they had an east Asia correspondent back in the '80s, so they did not rely entirely on agency reports). I still remember the day I came back from the summer madrasa when my father showed me Chitra Subramaniam's story on l'affaire Bofors.

When we were in Delhi in the early '90s, I was a bit surprised to see the aggressive advertising campaign run by the Times of India and the Hindustan Times. Were the newspapers not being offered for 90 paisa per copy or some such really low price? My father proudly told me that Hindu would never resort to such "games". I can tell you with some confidence that Hindu will never have a page 3 unlike some other Indian newspapers.

So heres to The Hindu. May you grow from strength to strength.

2005-12-29T01:49:00.000+05:30

My dear friend T asked me to create a blog for his birthday. I balked and instead gave him the vcd of chinthavishtayaya Shyamala (=thoughtful Shyamala), a Malayalam movie with a feminist undercurrent. So, T and his wife, my sweet friend M are holidaying in India now and when they get back to Switzerland this will be a surprise.

I live away from India and to make up for the lack of a community of like-minded people, I turned to the internet with a vengeance. I have so many online communities - my secular Indian/South Asian community, my Muslim community, my(tiny)Malayalee community, and I recently found that

even my high school has a mailing list (most of the folks are - you guessed right- software engineers, with some doctors, MBAs and lawyers thrown in for some masala). But none of them can represent me completely, only I can. Hence this blog.

So whats up with this strange (to non-Malayalam speakers anyway) name? Well, Sivarama Menon Road is the name of the street in Ernakulam, Kerala where my parents first moved to in the early '70s. We moved houses three times, all on the same street and Sivarama Menon Road, Lissie Junction, Ernakulam north railway station have a lot of associations for me. When I was in class 6, my classmate K told me that the said Sivarama Menon was his grandad and that Menon was a councillor in the Ernakulam municipal corporation (local government for non-Indians).